


oops, my hand slipped and now i have twitter

by Sushimelon



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Funny, I'm Bad At Tagging, Multi, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Spider-Man: Far From Home Compliant, Social Media, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Twitter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:48:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23071963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sushimelon/pseuds/Sushimelon
Summary: the avengers have twitter, and when spider-man joins in, all goes to shit
Relationships: Happy Hogan/May Parker (Spider-Man), James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 3
Kudos: 188





	1. Chapter 1

Spider-man @spidermanwastaken  
Hello twitter! Its ya boi, spider-man

Tony stank @ironman  
Oh no, here we go

Spider-man @spidermanwastaken  
Whats that supposed to mean???!!!

Tony stank @ironman  
Just that you plus vine compilations was bad enough, you plus twitter will be a nightmare

Spider-man @spidermanwastaken  
I thought you were bae, turns out your just fam ☹

Shuri @princessofwakanda  
omg I love you spider-man

Spider-man @spidermanwastaken  
@ironman at least someone cares about me…

Falcon @onyourleft  
Oh lookie here @bucky someones joined twitter now…

Dude with the metal arm @bucky  
Hmmm, this should be fun…

Spider-man @spidermanwastaken  
Im suddenly terrified

\----

Peter B Parker @imafraidofinsects  
For context, Mr Stark just screeched when spiderman dropped in for a visit

Tony stank @ironman  
For context, spiderman literally dropped from the ceiling onto my desk where I was working

Spider-man @spidermanwastaken  
For context its spider-man, and its not my fault you didn’t think to look up

Tony stank @ironman  
Why would I have looked up??? Literally no one else can be on the ceiling

Spider-man @spidermanwastaken  
But I can, so expect it

Caw caw mfs @ogbirdavenger  
I have also made people in the tower jump out of their skin by dropping down from the vents

Tony stank @ironman  
Yes and you’ve been asked to stop you ceiling rat

NR @blackwidow  
Yeah, that’s a non-starter

Flash @fastestmanalive  
Wait, why the fuck are the avengers replying to penis parker???

Peter B Parker @imafraidofinsects  
Stark internship

Tony stank @ironman  
Stark internship

Spider-man @spidermanwastaken  
Stark internship

Mj @mj  
Stark internship

Not ed @ned  
Stark internship

Flash @fastestmanalive  
Ok ok I get it!!

\---  
Spiderman replied to me! @fastestmanalive  
Best day ever


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i have decided the avengers do not know spidey's identity, purely because i love a crack identity reveals to the avengers, so they actually only know peter as an intern, ignore any plot holes around that

Peter B Parker @imafraidofinsects  
For scientific intern reasons, I need every avenger to take this quiz:  
https://www.buzzfeed.com/perpetua/which-avengers-infinity-war-character-are-you

Peter B Parker @imafraidofinsects  
I got doctor strange! Comment what you guys got

Tony stank @ironman  
I got ironman of course

Caw caw mfs @ogbirdavenger  
Captain America

Captain America @americasass  
Natasha

Dude with the metal arm @bucky  
Ffs I got sam

NR @blackwidow  
Wanda

Witchy fingers @wandam  
The only correct response

Falcon @onyourleft  
This isn’t accurate at all…

Peter B Parker @imafraidofinsects  
Who'd you get??

Falcon @onyourleft  
That doesn’t matter

Peter B Parker @imafraidofinsects  
No you have to say

Falcon @onyourleft  
Bucky…

Caw caw mfs @ogbirdavenger  
Hahahahahaha

Pepper @starkindustriesCEO  
I got @brucebanner

Witchy fingers @wandam  
I got the cap

Spider-man @spidermanwastaken  
I got THOR and you don’t understand how happy that makes me

Dude with the metal arm @bucky  
Go away spider-kid your not an avenger

Spider-man @spidermanwastaken  
I was almost one

Falcon @onyourleft  
Yeah almost being the key word

Spider-man @spidermanwastaken  
Fuck off

Tony stank @ironman  
LaNgUaGe

Peter B Parker @imafraidofinsects  
I thought this was important: *you’re. thank you for listening to my TED talk


	3. Chapter 3

bet @bettybrant

Wtf Spider-Man??

black widow liked my tweet @avengersstan

What? Is he alright?

bet @bettybrant

I think so? He just swung past with a macdonalds and screamed hydrate or dydrate, which I mean mood but...

Tony stank @ironman

Ah yeah that makes sense

bet @bettybrant

What??

Tony stank @ironman

He had coffee today, @spidermanwastaken @imafraidofinsects and I pulled an all-nighter and he needed a boost

Pepper @starkindustriesCEO

You let him have coffee??

Tony stank @ironman

I know, it was a mistake, blame @imafraidofinsects

Pepper @starkindustriesCEO

You and spidey are the adults in this situation, act like them

Peter B Parker @imafraidofinsects

See I’m innocent in all this

Mj @mj

Please tell me you didn’t let peter have any coffee

Tony stank @ironman

Well...

Mj @mj

No!! He’s the worst with caffeine

Captain America @americasass

I don’t think anyone could be worse than spidey with coffee?

Not ed @ned

No peter is even worse

Dude with the metal arm @bucky

I didn’t think that was even possible

Pepper @starkindustriesCEO

He is however adorable high on caffeine

Tony stank @ironman

At least they’ve been separated, apart we can survive, together we’re all screwed

Not ed @ned

Very true *shudders*

black widow liked my tweet @avengersstan

I think y’all are just over exaggerating

Tony stank @ironman

No, sadly we’re not. Spidey had to go into work once and had a coffee about 30 mins before he had to leave (1/?) 

Tony stank @ironman

And within 5 mins (superpowers, who’d have them) he was doing the macerana?????? on the ceiling (2/?)

Tony stank @ironman

There was no music at all and ended up forgetting that in the dance when you jump, gravity is no longer working in your favour (3/4)

Tony stank @ironman

So he fell into the floor flat on his face then got up and left to work with a broken nose(4/4)

Spider-man @spidermanwastaken

I’m sorry that some of us can’t be billionaires and have to work 9-5

Spider-man @spidermanwastaken

Also I found the video of this (yes I was wearing the suit) so I have decided to upload it to my TikTok [video of him dancing then falling with the ‘gravity is working’ audio]

Not ed @ned

Spidey does that but peter is just a mess, we had an APUSH test coming up so he decided to pull an all-nighter then had coffee before school (1/?)

Not ed @ned

Then got to school and was literally vibrating all day and wouldn’t shut up (2/?)

Not ed @ned

We took the exam (he got a 95?? Idk how) and then we were getting on the subway to go home and just looks at me and goes (3/4)

Not ed @ned

“So you ready for this test?” He’d literally forgotten he’d been in school the whole day(4/4)

Peter B Parker @imafraidofinsects

Why would you expose me like this??

black widow liked my tweet @avengersstan

Omg this is the content I subscribed to. Also I’m sorry but Spider-Man has TikTok? And I’m here for it

Spider-man @spidermanwastaken

Thank you! I’m addicted! Also my chicken nuggets are cold now and I’m about to cry

Peter B Parker @imafraidofinsects

OMG we need to film a TikTok together, like that needs to happen. But the crying is me 24/7 

Spider-man @spidermanwastaken

Yes let’s do it (without the crying, though if you are depressed seek help, you don’t have to suffer alone) 

Tony stank @ironman

Oh fuck (on a serious note, do call a crisis help line if you need to, mental health is nothing to be ashamed of) 

Captain America @americasass

Language. (But yes, the brackets are all very true) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I am reusing the language joke. 
> 
> Let me know if you have any requests at any point, at the moment I’m literally just writing what pops into my head
> 
> The ending got a bit serious, but do seek help if you need it!


	4. Chapter 4

Caw caw mfs @ogbirdavenger

i'm sorry, but when was anyone going to tell me that Finland doesn't exist??

<https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Finland_does_not_exist.png>

NR @blackwidow

pathetic, i've known that or years 

Falcon @onyourleft

how did you, a super spy, not get taught this in super spy school??

Caw caw mfs @ogbirdavenger

(shhhh, dont tell anyone im a spy, im flying under the radar)

Spider-man @spidermanwastaken

hehe flying 

Tony stank @ironman

guys, come on, we have literally met the prime minister of Finland 

Pepper @starkindustriesCEO

Tony, they were hired by the Russians, obviously. 

Tony stank @ironman

not you too pepper

T'Challa @blackpanther

i mean, she makes a good point

are you shuri @yesiam

i dont think ive met anyone from finland...

Tony stank @ironman

seriously??? are you guys five?? @happyhogan back me up please

Forehead of security @happyhogan

i mean, it doesn't exist so...

Peter B Parker @imafraidofinsects

lol when your mentor thinks finland actually exists hahaha

the freshest prince @willsmythe

wow, look who we have protecting the world, a load of people who believe in conspiracy theories, love that for us

Tony stank @ironman

why am i friends with all of you??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its such a short one, i've been feeling very uninspired


End file.
